The Truth of Philosophy
What it really is.
A philosopher is like a man who offers you cheese. You say to the man, "Thanks, but I don't want no cheese." The man then tries to shove gruyere down your oesophagus. (By the way I was hoping Gruyere and Oesophagus was a Googlewhack. There are 219 pages with those words in them.) If you ask the man why he is shoving cheese down your throat he says it's because you used a double negative and the two negatives cancel each other out. You try to explain to the man that in common discourse a double negative is used as an emphasiser to say that you definitely do not want cheese. The man is like a small child deliberately mishearing you. He only hears the technicality that he wants to hear for his own strange kicks.
That man is a philosopher.