A guide to the Discordian elements, their meaning, the days of the Erisian week and how to celebrate the arrival of each new day...

From the Book of Eris:

THE SECRET OF THE FIVE DISCORDIAN ELEMENTS REVEALED

One of the more esoteric Erisian Mysterees brought forth by Mal-2 and Omar K. Ravenhust was the Five Basic Discordian Elements (Sweet, Boom, Pungent, Prickle, and Orange), which make up all things, and which we Erisians use to represent the days in our calendar. The Five Basic Elements represent our Five Senses:

• Sweet ====== Taste
• Boom ====== Hearing
• Pungent ===== Smell
• Prickle ===== Touch
• Orange ====== Sight

Mal-2 and Lord Omar gave the days of the Discordian week the names of the Five Element so that we may concentrate in developing our senses better. So on Orange day, really look at everything. Look at it from different angles, different perspective. On Boomtime pay close attention to everything. Soon you will truly begin to become enlightened, and become ONE with ERIS.

From the Metaclysmia Discordia:

CELEBRATION OF THE DAYS OF THE ERISIAN WEEK

• 1.Sweetmorn Celebration: Arise when you like. Have some morsel of your favourite munch, chew on it with delight and praise Eris with your mouth full:

HAIL ERIS! GODDESS OF THE DAYS! LICK ME ON THIS SWEETMORN DAY! BE SURE I TASTE ALL NICE AND TASTY AND STUFF LIKE HOT FUDGE ON TOAST*! SLURP!

*or whatever your morsel is


• 2.Boomtime Celebration: Arise as early as possible (4am is ideal) break out the loud hailer and run a recording of the 1812 Overture as you stomp about the neighbourhood shouting in praise:

HAIL ERIS! GODDESS OF THE DAYS! BOOM ME BABY! BOOM ME ON THIS BOOMING BOOMTIME DAY! LIKE A GREAT BIG KETTLE DRUM FULL OF NITROGLYCERINE!
BOOM!


• 3.Pungenday Celebration: Arise early (ish - before 12pm is usually seen as polite, but it''s not set in stone or anything, so don''t worry about it unduly. 6am is ideal). Be sure you haven''t bathed since last Pungenday, throw open your doors, windows, what-have-you''s and praise Eris loudly thus:

HAIL ERIS! GODDESS OF THE DAYS! SNIFF ME ON THIS PUNGENDAY! BE SURE I WHIFF SUITABLY! LIKE A MANGY BADGERS ARSE AFTER A LONG SAUNA! WHOOF!


• 4.Prickle-Prickle Celebration: Arise early enough to disturb the Catma and scare the Dogma, get a large (let''s not get wussy now) cactus and prick yourself all over shouting:

OUCH! YEOWCH! AARGH! ERIS YOU BITCH! SORRY, GODDESS OF THE DAYS! TOUCHA! TOUCHA! TOUCHA! TOUCH ME! ON THIS PRICKLE-PRICKLE DAY! LIKE THE STING OF THE WHOLLY-KWEEN-CHAO-BEE ON A HOT SUMMERS DAY! OW!


• 5.Setting Orange Celebration: Arise just before sunset, pour yourself a large tequila sunrise* (tell everybody it''s actually a tequila sunset) wear your grandest hat, your dressing gown, your most wholly underpants and socks, then announce thusly:

HAIL ERIS! GODDESS OF THE DAYS! LOOK UPON ME AS I LOOK UPON YOU ON THIS SETTING ORANGE DAY! I''VE HAD ENOUGH THIS WEEK, SEE YOU SWEETMORN! GOODNIGHT!

*down the tequila, or several if you''re so inclined