The Enlightenment of St. Jay Zehr

by Chaplin Sinatra Fonzarelli

At a time of great confusion, in a manic high, St. Zehr wandered the streets of the food festival in anxiety.

"Look at what's wrong with this culture! Look at all of this processed agricultural bullshit people are eating! Look how horrible capitalism is!"

Woeing and woeing himself, he drudgedon through the Mecca of shit

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pudgy man eating a hotdog. This was the straw that broke the camel's back

"Do you know what's in that?!" he shouted, "Do you realize what you're doing to yourself? How could you put that into your body?"

The man replied, with the twinkle in the eye and shitfaced grin of a Bodhisattva, "you can eat whatever you want, as long as you anoint it with the white light"

And thus he was enlightened.