While The Good Reverend likes to bash on n00bs who write about "REAL Discordians" (ie, anyone who agrees with - or will be nice to - them), the fact is, such a thing DOES exist. To demonstrate this, let me start off by saying that the hackneyed line "Everyone is a Discordian" is absolute rubbish. Look at the word "Discordian. This implies that the person in question is an adherent of discord, not an unwitting facilitator. Such people may be Discordian Saints, but not Discordians. Since not everyone is a Discordian, yet Discordians DO exist, it naturally follows that some people are Discordian and some people are not. We can also assume that some people CLAIM to be Discordians, but really aren't (see "refugees" in Heresies I)... whether or not they believe they are. Likewise, some people may BE Discordian, but either deny it, or don't know it. So, we can classify people into six groups:

1. Non-Discordians - people who are not Discordians, and do not claim to be. Jerry Falwell, for example.
2. Fake Discordians - People who think they are Discordian, but really aren't. EvT, for example (who mistakes the nonsense of Hill & Thornley as serious dogma).
3. Phony Discordians - Refugees (QV).
4. Latent Discordians - Discordians who are unaware of the term.
5. Discordians in Denial - Discordians that are aware of what they are, but pretend they aren't.
6. Real Discordians - Discordians that know what they are, and accept it.

Now, the question arises, "how do you know whether someone is a real discordian?" The fast answer is that you usually don't, at least not right away. The question becomes a little easier, once we define what Discordianism is. Now, ask 8 Discordians what Discordianism is, and you'll get 9 answers... but I think I can list a few things that most of us can agree on. A Discordian should be able to rant, write a haiku, raze a village, come up with the occasional way to fuck the normals over, mindfuck, drink bongwater, troll a website, infight like a champ, stomp on a n00b's ego, and - if the slightest chance is offered - kill The Good Reverend Roger in cold blood.

What ISN'T Discordianism: Jabbering nonsense for its own sake (we have Christians for that), numerology for its own sake (we have Enron accountants for that), whimpering, drinking lite beer, smoking cloves, emo, goth (except for procreation), Wicca (many Discordians happen to be Wiccans - for some bizarre reason - but it isn't, itself, Discordianism), Claiming to be Joshua Norton II (or the descendant/namesake of any other classic Discordian figure)... we Subgenii call that "Being a Bobby", quoting Discordian works for its own sake, Chaos Mahdlgickque (gimme a break!) or racism (unless it's funny, which is harder than it sounds).

What MAY be Discordianism, depending on circumstances: Badminton (or ping pong, depends upon location), street theater, buggering Richard Nixon's festering corpse, reckless use of firearms, excessive alcohol use (careful with that one), attending the opera. So, now you know what a "real" Discordian is. The Good Reverend suggests that you all now begin running around denouncing each other, for his amusement. Or kill me.